The Return of The Friday Laff Fest

Traditionally, I've posted only videos for the Friday Laff Fest. Today, I'm beginning with the 25 funniest analogies (collected by high school English teachers).

Also, for your reading enjoyment, 101 Ways to Annoy Your Co-Workers. As if 101 weren't enough, here's five more:

• Burp the star spangled banner with a kazoo jammed up your left nostril.

• Say "we don't go for no law 'round here, law dog" whenever your boss walks by.

• Hang a disco ball above your cube. Shine a laser pen on the ball and exclaim "Do the hustle"! every time management tells you how important you are to the company.

• Wearing x-ray glasses and exclaiming "ooooooh lah lah" whenever someone walks by your cubicle.

• Answer all phone calls with your best Gilbert Gottfried voice.

Okay, now for videos. First up, for my Memphis all star, Snow Shovel Bill, here's Pulp Muppets.

Feeling lost during Lost conversations? Do you suffer from Lost Discussion Deficiency Syndrome? There is a solution, Losticil.

Finally, 101 impressions in four minutes.

Does your stomach hurt yet?

How To Lose Your Fear Of Being Fired

The fear of being fired is what keeps many employees in perpetual career limbo. Fear of being fired often causes an employee to cowtow to superiors--even when the boss makes bad decisions (look at the people who surround President Bush).

Which brings me to this article, "How To Lose Your Fear Of Being Fired". The article shows how you can prepare yourself for the inevitable day so that it rolls off your back like water off a duck's butt.

Teacher's Win Germiest Job Award

I never would have guessed it, but teacher's have the dirtiest jobs, and I'm not referring to Debra LaFave.

Although, when you consider that they interact with germ infested, booger eating, dirty handed kids all day, it's easy to understand why teachers are under a constant bacteria barrage. I suppose at the first sign of a bird flu outbreak, teachers will have to dress like Homer Simpson at the nuclear plant.

#8 on the list, publicist, certainly confused me. I didn't think the list factored in morals and lack of truth telling.

One more thing. As I perused the list, I didn't see drive up window worker. Talk about a germy profession. I sure wouldn't want to take change from a butt scratching, snot wiping on the hand contractor type who just had his hand down a porta-john because he saw something shiny.

Do You Live In A Cube Farm, Alpha Geek?

Have you ever found yourself working with a stress puppy?

Have you ever been guilty of abusing the Xerox subsidy? While you were abusing the Xerox subsidy, did you consider your activities might get you uninstalled?

Occasionally, my wife accuses me of infidelity with the square headed spouse.

Confused? Welcome to wild world of office slang.