Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Space Baggies Stall Space Shuttle

The space shuttle "UFO" mystery seems to be solved. While the NASA boys fretted about the shuttle tiles, it was finally determined that space litter seems to be the unknown flying object. Plastic bags floating in outer space.

The question remains: how did the space litter get there? I'm certain the ecology types are writing press releases, and howling about the polluting of outer space. I have a couple theories about how the space baggies ended up in space.

  • The shuttle crew, well aware of crappy NASA space swill, packed a few extra sandwiches into their flight suits. Not wanting to get caught smuggling peanut butter and jelly contraband, they simply let the bags slip into outer space while they were working outdoors on shuttle repairs. Also, I'd wager once NASA upper management confronted the fly boys, they shook their heads "no" and blamed it on the Russians.
  • The baggies prove, once and for all, that alien beings from other planets exist. An alien couple flew up, spread out a space blanket, and had an alien picnic/love fest while they pined away in the Earth's positive glow. When the alien's finished, they got up, flew away, and left behind their garbage. It's rumored that one of the bags resembled a coney island whitefish.
  • The "Love Boat In Space" had been filming in the area and when the garbage hold filled up, Captain Stubing gave the order to flush.


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