Name Yourself Day

After a busy day of picture taking, I realized another fun holiday, Name Yourself Day, slipped by my pointed head. I'm not sure if I've ever wanted to name myself. I suspect, if I had, a quick trip to the courthouse would have solved my dilemma.

So many cool, manly names exist, but if I changed my name, would I develop an identity crisis? For instance, would my family treat me differently? When my birthday rolled around, would Mom call and sing, "Happy Birthday, dear Ran...errr Dirk" and plunge me into a psychological maelstrom? Would friends return my phone calls or would they think to themselves, "Who's that...it sounds like some stupid telemarketer."

What if I chose a new name; one that caused titters of laughter when mentioned? Would I have to re-live my pubescent years and listen to not-so-clever name jokes? What about a one name approach...like Madonna? Not that I would want to named Madonna, but maybe I could re-brand myself and become a soopahstah. Something catchy and memorable like Earl. Which brings up one final question. If I named myself, what name would be featured in my obituary?

Would it read "Yesterday, Earl died", and would anybody, including my mother, know who the hell is Earl? So many questions, so few Earl's.