Monday, March 27, 2006

Make Up Your Own Holiday Day

Wow! Make up your own holiday. I'll be taking any of your ideas and comments for holidays as my little old pea brain has gone on vacation. Nonetheless, I did manage to reach into my mind's less fertile region (or as my wife would say; the over fertilized region) and develop a few lame holiday ideas.

  1. Burn Your Underwear Day--hey, if it's good enough for Castro. Quite frankly, there are some people around the area who need to burn their underwear...outside the city limits. This day would be akin to bra burning except you wouldn't be protesting anything, well, except funky drawers.
  2. Act Like A Superhero Day--this day could be Halloween II, but rules state that you can only dress and act like a superhero. Be original. Put away the Superman cape, Spiderman mask, and for crying out loud, your Wonder Woman golden lasso. The community needs Barbeque Man, Kitchen Utensil Girl, and Floor Mat Guy. I suspect while we'd pretend to be superhero's, we'd be relegated to mere SIDEKICKS.
  3. Laugh Like The Penguin Day--no, not laugh like a penguin, but the Penguin...the Batman TV program's Burgess Meredith characterization circa 1966. I get all fuzzy inside when thinking about a day filled with Penguin mirth, magic, and Penguin laughing. Wack, wack, wack, wack.
  4. Walk Like A Pediatrician Day--an homage holiday, based on that wacky Bangles tune. You make short quick steps, talk in a circle, snap kids with rubber gloves, hand out suckers and, most importantly, chant "Say Ahhhh".
  5. Honor A Tarantino Victim Day--hey, there's hundreds from which to choose. You can hang your head in reverence for Vincent Vega, Gogo Yubari, Louis Gara, Marvin, Clifford Worley, the whole of the Crazy 88's and almost every character in Natural Born Killers and Reservoir Dogs. I could go on, but this would end up like a term paper.
  6. Falafel Boy Day--Bill O'Reilly gets his own holiday.
  7. Power Ballad Appreciation Day--a day where we get misty eyed while strains of Journey's Open Arms, Beth by Kiss, and Sister Christian by Night Ranger blare from the speakers located atop the Coshocton County Courthouse. Community wide nausea ensues while we join hands at camp fires and sing Motley Crue's Home Sweet Home.
  8. Coshocton County Bucktooth Fish Day--a celebration of the indigenous species which inhabit our local waterways. Now, everyone grab a 'tater and fish!
  9. Road Kill Cookoff Day--who says the buzzards get to have all the fun? Load up your Ford F-150's and go huntin'. Choose busier byways like state highways where it's a veritable roadkill smorgasbord. In need of recipes? I know, me too, but I lean toward the exotic.
  10. Moron Appreciation Day--my own holiday; 'nuff said.


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