Your Personal Carry On Luggage Checklist

Have an upcoming flight soon? Confused as to what you can carry on the plane and what should be checked?

• You can take up to 4 oz. of non prescription medication--think Robitussin--but you'll have to check the half gallon party size Nyquil.
• You can carry on 4 oz. of personal lubricant, but toothpaste isn't allowed. Your minty fresh post flight smile will be replaced your warming, personally lubricated, Astroglide smile.
• You can carry on knitting and crochet needles--as long as they aren't the John Rambo--First Blood Assassination Assistant Knitting Needles.
• You can bring on lipstick--just not the spray on type.
• You can bring your Transformer robot--but no realistic replicas of incendiaries. I guess they've never seen what type of incendiary havoc a Dark Crumplezone Transformer can create.

For a complete list of items, you can read this TSA list. Print it off. Memorize it. Chastise lazy flight passengers who obviously didn't read the list. Also, use your list to scrutinize any suspicious, dark characters. You'll be tellin' who might be gellin'.

Oh, by the way, you finish the TSA list, and you're feeling all warm and safe inside, you'll want to make sure to read the Wall Street Journal article about unchecked cargo sliding into your flight's belly.