Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Kitchen Klutzes of America Day: Are You A Klutz?

Yes, I know, Kitchen Klutzes of America Day falls on June 13. Since today is Pop Goes The Weasel Day and I have no witty weaselisms, I wanted to turn back the calendar and celebrate kitchen klutziness.

I suspect most cooks have fallen victim to minor kitchen klutz moments. Everyone spills, bangs their head on a cabinet, or mixes together wrong ingredients. For some, kitchen klutziness is a way of life. How do you determine if you're a true kitchen klutz?

  • Does your gravy look as though you added dumplings to the mix?
  • Do you keep an oft used fire extinguisher on your countertop for life's little cooking surprises?
  • Is your idea of nouveau cuisine suspending ground pork in lime jello and naming it porquello?
  • Do your stainless steel pans look as though you've competed in a cookware demolition derby?
  • Is the only way you can serve non-burned toast is by leaving the toaster unplugged?
  • Do you find making iced tea particularly challenging?
  • Does your kitchen floor feature dents, knife holes, burn marks, or a cast iron skillet gateway to the basement?
  • Do your children prefer to forage in the yard for sustenance?
  • Do drive thru stewards know you on a first name basis?
Chances are, if you answered yes to any of the above questions, you are a kitchen klutz. If you answered yes to more three or more, you would have entered the realm of kitchen nightmare.

Don't fret. Sooner or later you'll be able to plug in the toaster and the kids will move away. Have fun.


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