Answer Your Cat's Question Day

On this festive feline holiday, I find myself without an inquisitive cat. I don't own a cat...or a dog, but we have a swell goldfish who acts like a starved puppy

So, I wandered outside and found one of the many neighborhood cats.

He's no ordinary cat. He has no tail, looks as though he just woke up and appears inebriated. Often, he seems to have a death wish while sitting in the street...oblivious to autos whizzing past.

"Ummm...cat (I don't know his name), it's Answer Your Cat's Question Day. I know you're not my cat, but I want to be neighborly....and even though you pee on my porch, I wondered what question you might have?"

He looks at me. No words. No hint of recognition. No question. Not even a meow. I give him a kitty treat (a pepperoni) and tell him, it's okay, we'll try again next year.